08-31-2021, 06:15 PM
Sex without affectivity could be defined as an addiction, but it would be ungenerous and in any case there are far worse addictions that disguise themselves as values, it would be better to say that when it is pure, that is, uncontaminated by sense of domination and not conditioned by other purposes, sex it itself becomes a value because it creates a contact which is almost never devoid of affectivity, shared sex is the exact opposite of a refusal, if it is not a play, it allows us to be accepted without disguises. Sex is first of all trusting, not feeling fears, not feeling judged, and the feeling of not being neglected but accepted and wanted when you are yourself without screens is beautiful. Sex is not a sacred thing, an object of worship or abstinence or something to be preserved for who knows what purposes or to be avoided a priori, it is not a reality to be sublimated, it is a component of everyday life, which at least for a good part of life cannot be repressed, which if compressed on one side reappears on the other, more or less sublimated, without sex being admitted into profound subjectivity of another person would be very difficult because the world of words would prevail, behind which it is much easier to hide and assume a role. Real sex doesn’t need any other motivation, it is enough for itself. Sex, if it is clean, honest, simple, wanted, shared, is a reality of enormous importance and should not be rejected but respected because it can truly be a medicine of the soul. In the dark moments of life, in those in which stress and depression are lurking, seeing that there are a guy who is happy to be with you, who accepts you as you are, who seeks you, who shares his intimacy with you can only revive you, can drive away bad thoughts, can bring you back to believe in mankind. Sexuality is one of the very few reasons for altruism, in front of the loved one you put aside your own interests, because true sexuality, which is a form of love, is incompatible with selfishness. In the nature of true sexuality is the fact that to truly experience gay sex it takes two gay guys truly involved and this is the real problem of sexuality, because reciprocity is not easily achieved. True reciprocity is not a meteor fallen from the sky, which comes from above, perfect in itself, no, true reciprocity generally starts from little but true things, many times it starts from sexuality, not even from the sharing of all sexuality, but from the construction of a common ground, even limited, but authentic. An authentic sharing, even if limited, creates moments of profound communication and is meant to last a long time. Asking for total sharing means to absolutize, to place unattainable conditions on something that doesn’t tolerate conditions of any kind. Sharing means creating a common space, not a symbiosis, sharing means accepting the other as he is, without any claim to change him and this is truly fundamental. In true love stories you don't choose because, as James Baldwin said: "Here there is nothing to decide but everything to accept."