03-11-2023, 03:23 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-11-2023, 03:24 PM by gayprojectforum.)
Hi Project,
yesterday I spent a beautiful day (and night) with my boyfriend, it doesn't happen very often, but yesterday I fully lived the experience of feeling the charm of a man, not of a boy, because we've known each other for a long time and now we're not more guys. The charm of a man is, in his unpredictable side, in not following a script, in the fact that he can surprise you with behaviors you would never expect, in saying no clearly but without hurting you and also in the fact that he is capable of valuing you more than you do yourself starting from things different from those to which you are used to attributing a meaning.
The charm of a man lies in knowing how to be not only ironic but also self-deprecating, in being overwhelming in sex without putting you in difficulty, in knowing how to move from sex to convincing and rational reasoning, without pointing out your weaknesses. The charm of a man lies in knowing how to awaken you sexually when you are most refractory and in saying no, if he can't, but only for a postponement, when you have more desire for him.
A man fascinates you when he attracts you from every point of view, when he can be calm and controlled in society and he can be free and fiery in private, when he can make you understand that he is more comfortable with you than you think. The charm of a man lies in an unexpected intimate gesture, in a lightening smile, in abandoning himself when he is with you to an absolute spontaneity held back only by the idea of not putting you in difficulty. The charm of a man is truly such when he is not always compliant or dominant with you, when he knows how to tease you gently, when he stops to reason with you but not to be right necessarily, when he lets you know he cares about you.
You feel the charm of a man when you understand that he knows what he wants, that he goes his own way and that way naturally meets yours, when you know that you don't have to convince him of anything, that that very rare chemical combination, which is called mutual attraction, with him it has been realized and will not be just a gust destined to vanish. You don't catch a man's charm at first sight, it's not the effect of a stroke of lightning, you catch a man's charm over time, you catch it in the certainty of his presence, in the reciprocity that manifests itself in deeds.
A man doesn't fascinate you with his words but with his behavior, with his dignity, with not denying his responsibilities and mistakes, with not keeping a foot in two shoes, with always telling the truth, even if it's unpleasant. A man fascinates you with his morality and his sexuality, because even in the utmost sexual freedom there is a morality. The charm of a man is in his solidity, in the fact that you don't expect him to turn around, you don't expect double-dealing or ambiguity. A man fascinates you because he's not afraid to lay bare in front of you, body and soul, and he expects the same from you.
A man fascinates you because he knows how to bind you with his fidelity, which is not necessarily sexual fidelity, but it is the constancy in loving you, because he doesn't expect anything from you beyond what you are and what you can give, because he never forces you, because he seeks a balance with you, because he values you as a person even when he's convinced you're doing something stupid, because he doesn't lose his temper and doesn't take revenge, because he's capable of bringing out the best in you. A man fascinates you because he speaks little and what he says is never banal.
A man fascinates you because he doesn't abandon you, because he knows how to adapt to you, because he sees value in you and understands the meaning of what you say to him beyond words, because he knows how to listen to you and lets you enter his life, he doesn't hide from you because he is not afraid of you and of feeling judged by you. You feel the charm of a man very strongly in his being caressed, more than in his caressing, in his sharing even the most intimate aspects of his life with you, in his not judging you, in his making you understand that he loves you without telling you, in his trusting you.
All this is not theory, but the synthesis of 18 years of shared life even without cohabitation. It was precisely the absence of external constraints that helped us stay together. The only reason for staying together was that we loved each other. When I was a boy I didn't know what to expect from life, but at 40 I can say that life has given me much more than I could have dreamed of, it has given me a companion, a friend, a lover who has made me happy. It wasn't all easy, but he never failed. I was lucky, I can't deny it, but I can tell you that I feel light and serene inside because I have found a man who fascinates me in the deepest sense.