04-25-2024, 08:45 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-25-2024, 08:52 PM by gayprojectforum.)
Hi Project,
everyone calls you that and I do too. I've been following Gay Project Forum since I was 16, now I'm 19, almost 20, and I started university this year. I can't deny that a world has opened up to me. Guys are not just fantastic creations, they really exist, even if the vast majority are straight, the problem is that I like them all, not just gays, who among other things hide, at least at university that's how it is. According to statistics there should be at least ten gays, but with the luck I have, if I risk having a half-talk with one, I'm sure I'll end up with yet another disappointment, with associated disgrace, and it's just something to avoid. I can't allow it. Four or five boys are really beautiful and send me into orbit, they are not the same as each other, they are quite different from each other but they still have all the requirements of my ideal guy: very direct, smiling, spontaneous. And those five are right at the top. I won't hide from you that they influence me, because I see them, apart from the fact that they are most likely straight, they are also too beautiful and I am a normal guy, at most one iota more, but with them there is no comparison.
My level of clumsiness towards them is such that one of them, the one I like the most, once invited me to a party but I didn't go there, and then I regretted it up for a week first of all because I didn't I went there and then because I thought he was upset and that maybe he would put me aside. But it didn't happen. He talks to me a little, even jokes a little, sometimes he makes grimaces with his face that are really expressive, when he wants to show surprise or disappointment at some of my answers. He usually makes a lot of faces. Once it occurred to me to tell him that I would congratulate his mother and father because they had made him so handsome, I waited for the right moment, that is, when he made an intelligent intervention in class and the professor underlined it. At the break I said to him: "I think I should congratulate your parents..." then I paused, he made the usual questioning grimace and I didn't feel like completing the sentence as I had planned it, and I changed the ending: “… because they made you so smart!” and this time he took it badly, a bit as if I was teasing him, so I tried to backtrack and make it a joke and I said to him: "You're right, sorry, I should have said why they made you so "Handsome!" And he made a perplexed face, at least apparently he took it as a joke and it all ended there, that is, his sulking ended there.
But maybe I went too far because I don't think anyone has ever treated him like that. He never stays with the other beautiful ones, but with the average ones both in terms of brain and physique, that is, with those like me. The others, however, do not court him, they consider him an outsized student, but they are not really interested in him as a person. He is a little more relaxed with me, we are not friends, in the classic sense, but it seems that he, at least there, has no friends. Sometimes we go to have breakfast together, because once I arrived very early in the morning and he was already there and since that day I have arrived very early every day, I don't think he arrives early to have breakfast with me, because in fact, at least I think, he arrived early even before I started arriving early too. And in any case by arriving early and entering the classroom first, we can take seats in the front row and I systematically place myself to the left of him, let's say that we are now a sort of permanent couple.
If we have a long break, i.e. not 15 minutes but an hour, many people leave and go look for some of their female friends from some other faculty, but not him! He stays in the classroom, gathers in a small group with the few who don't leave, chats a bit, even with me, or we start "the two of us" to do the same exercises, to see who does them first and best, I learn something and then I stay close to him, I really feel his physical warmth while staying side by side. Sometimes he leans on me a little, obviously all without malice, and it really makes me wince. Then there's the topic of girls, which doesn't really exist. He never talks about girls, never about sex, he doesn't give compliments of any kind, he behaves like a perfect English gentleman and even has that physical type a little. I would like to know if he has friends, obviously if he has a girlfriend and above all, if he has friends, what he talks about with them. As for studying together, sometimes it happens but only at university, in the library rooms. I don't think the idea of studying together "at home" and least of all "at home when the parents are away" has ever crossed his mind.
Honestly, he seems very studious but also a bit clumsy when it comes to sexual matters, obviously I don't have many elements to say this, but it almost seems that the topic doesn't concern him at all, he has dedicated himself to science! It doesn't really add up, I don't count it right, also because if someone is so beautiful, it's obvious that I'm going after him, and you can understand it, but you can expect that many girls will also run after him, but no! They don't run after him at all. I wonder, but how is it possible that a girl isn't attracted to him like a magnet? There's something not working. In our group there are also some girls, there aren't many, they are intelligent, however, it's okay that I don't know anything about them, but they don't really seem like much from a physical point of view. Either they are not interested (and it seems unlikely to me) or he is not interested, which, at the very least, could well be the case.
We at university don't have much time to talk, there's class and we have to study, the breaks are short, you could do it in the morning before entering, but there's breakfast and then we're not just the two of us because there are also others who arrive early, not many, but they are there and therefore there is no privacy and the chatter must all be standard. At university you see nice guys, at most you can sit next to one of them, but it all ends there. And instead I really have a thing for guys, but it's all about seeing and not touching, adding image to image for the imagination. Days ago a straight friend of mine (who doesn't know about me) told me that he uses a lot of pornography (obviously straight) and was surprised that I practically don't look at it because I have my personal catalog of fantasies accumulated at university and are a thousand times better than porn videos. He knows that the fast here will last for years yet. I really think there are few doubts! A couple of nights ago I dreamed of him: he told me that he needed me, that he loved me and also that he was jerking off thinking about me. It was a truly overwhelming, beautiful wet dream. One thing you never forget! But, damn, it was just a dream!