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MESSAGE FROM AN OLD AND SICK GAY
#1
Dear Project, practically your forum is the only one that also speaks of old people with a bit of seriousness, but it lacks one thing: it only talks about old gays who are all in all in good health, Unfortunately I belong to those who are not in good health, I don’t speak of psychological distress because at my age it is a category that has been outdated for decades, I speak of physical health and bad ills in the serious sense of the term. 
 
I often think that my road will bring me to the end in quite short times but despite everything I don’t feel anguished, I wonder what may be the best way to do something good and there are many uncertainties. I'm not afraid of death, perhaps of physical suffering yes, because what I've tried until now, after all, was relative, but then you become fatalist and you lose the desire to fight, in some way you accept your destiny. After all, I'm old and I lived my life, so other five or other ten years don’t make a big difference. I think that to the new generations we must first teach to live and then we must also teach them to die with a certain basic serenity, with the conscience of having done at least something good.
 
This is to make you understand the situation, but you don’t imagine how comforting it can be for me to read the forum, read the emails that guys send you and see what the guys answer to the stories of others, it's like to open one's own mind to the meaning of life that continues, because these guys will also carry inside themselves something of us, especially if they feel loved and respected by us. After all we have to try, each one of us, to make the burden of others less heavy, this is the meaning of life.  

Of course in these guys I see myself, they are lucky because they have at their disposal means and possibilities that didn't exist in our time, but I see that they still have their melancholy and such a melancholy derives largely from the absence of love, from families which became disinterested in them or have been so much interested to become oppressive.
 
I live alone, even if I still have relatives who in their way love me and don’t abandon me and I feel lucky for this. In my life, of gay I had only the imagination and some fleeting adventure over fifty years ago. But it was my previous life, which is now very far away and it seems almost like a dream lost over the years. In recent years, when I was a little better than now and I could leave the house I also met young people, obviously, I think, always or almost straight, young couples with children and even guys who worked and I tried to be kind to everyone, especially with the guys who worked, sometimes there was some mutual sympathy, they treated me well, maybe just for the age, but I don’t think only for that, I think especially because they saw themselves as an object of attention and respect, what I don’t think happens very often.
 
Now I'm happy to read the forum and it's not a small thing and I thank you very much for this. I would love to send a positive message to the guys of all ages: "put aside your fear and look inside and you will find the right push to first of all do for others what you would have done for you."
 
And then we don't live for ourselves only, but to live all of us humans, and not only humans, a bit better. A spontaneous smile helps us live and makes us live better. I embrace you, Project, and thank you for what you’re doing.
Marino
(Publish the e- mail, if you want, in fact I would like it.)
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