GAY PROJECT FORUM
A GAY GUY AND HIS FIRST TIMES - Printable Version

+- GAY PROJECT FORUM (http://gayprojectforum.altervista.org)
+-- Forum: GAY REALITY (http://gayprojectforum.altervista.org/F-gay-reality)
+--- Forum: True gay stories (http://gayprojectforum.altervista.org/F-true-gay-stories)
+--- Thread: A GAY GUY AND HIS FIRST TIMES (/T-a-gay-guy-and-his-first-times)



A GAY GUY AND HIS FIRST TIMES - gayprojectforum - 12-16-2020

Hi Project,
I’m 32 years old, I was born in 88, a year of iron (I'm kidding, unfortunately!), when I was 16 I was the classic guy who dreams only about the charming prince and who lives on pornography, I say it and I'm not ashamed at all, at least there was that! At 17 I had my first experiences with a guy who was a year older than me, whom I’ll call Mino here, who perhaps wasn't the guy of my dreams, indeed he certainly wasn't the guy of my dreams, but I thought that in the end he would agree to share some intimacy (I mean sex) with me. He was neither rude nor aggressive, we often talked on the phone for hours, he never cut short the conversation and waited for me to end the call. At first I don't think he understood what kind of interest I had in him. Let's be clear, I first of all wanted to see how he was made, physically of course, that is, I wanted to see him naked and then I wanted to experience some sex with him. He never provoked me but allowed me to provoke him, that is, he allowed me forms of physical contact, not exactly sexual though, which I liked a lot and which evidently suited him too. 

Between us there was somehow that unclear border atmosphere, in which friendship and sexuality mix until they lose their traditional borders. I didn't know if Mino was gay, he didn't talk about girls and that was enough for me to fuel my fantasy. I was not in love with him, I just wanted to try something sexual with him, but I didn’t know where to start and I was afraid that the charm of that undefined but concrete intimacy could end abruptly if I had taken a too risky step. We weren't school friends, we had met through mutual friends and the classic opportunities to be together, like for example in order to study and things like that, as it happens between schoolmates, didn’t exist at all between us. We had nothing institutional in common, we used to meet almost every day just because it suited us. Then he gets his driving license and on the evening of April 23, 2005, a Saturday evening, he asks me if I'm willing to go camping with him for two days on April 24 and 25, it was a rare opportunity because on Saturdays we had to go to school. The first thing I think is that when we are together he will let himself go. 

The next morning we leave. Beautiful journey, 300 km in a row, then we arrive at a seaside campsite. We set up the tent, a two-seater Canadian, we eat something we had brought from home, at a certain point I lie down on the mattress and he says to me: "We have to go to the beach!" He hasn't even finished speaking when he takes off his pants and briefs and puts on his bathing suit. Seeing him like this, I was almost having a heart attack but it seemed he hadn't noticed it. He had it (you know what I'm talking about) not really erect but not really flaccid. I, on the other hand, had it hard and wet and therefore I couldn't put my swimsuit on in front of him, I didn't know how to get out of the embarrassing situation, but he was the one who solved the problem. He told me: "I'm going, you come when you want!" I wondered if he understood the situation, but I didn't know what answer to give me. I waited for the hormonal storm to pass, put on my swimsuit and went to the beach too. 

Mino in his bathing suit was not bad, that is, he was much better this way than fully dressed. He had a beautiful body, hairy in the right amounts and in the right places, he was tall, snappy, thinner than he looked when he was dressed. All in all he was much better than I had thought he was. We swam together, we played in the water but without sexual things, also because I was always almost erect and I had to be careful because sooner or later we had to get out of the water. He went out first without telling me and went to lie down on the sand. I waited a few minutes and once I reached a quiet situation I too went out of the water and went to sit next to him. I began to think with desire but also with anxiety about the fact that sooner or later we would go back to the tent to change, I would see him naked again but I would be naked too. When the sun started to go down we went back to the campsite, I went into the tent first and I started changing thinking that if I had done everything very quickly I would have avoided any embarrassment, but just when I was about to put my underwear back on he walked in, gave me a look and said: "Sorry. May I?" I told him: "Sure!" And he came in and changed in front of me without the slightest embarrassment and even this time he didn't really have it (you know what) in a flaccid state, but exactly the opposite! But he made no comments of any kind, and obviously I too avoided any comment. 

Then we went to the camping self-service to get something to eat and we started being stupid and we went on like this until almost eleven in the night, then we went to the tent to sleep. Clearly I didn't want to sleep and I started to provoke him, he started laughing and I didn't give him any respite and in the end he got involved and there has been also some sex between us, but he was laughing like crazy while trying to do everything to keep me quiet because he was afraid someone would hear us, since we were in a tent. I don't go into details, it wasn't really overwhelming but fun yes. The next morning I woke up very early, while he was still asleep and I began to be afraid of his reactions because maybe, the next day, thinking about what had happened, he could have taken it badly but nothing like this happened. When he woke up he started laughing and saying nonsense, like the night before, repeating to me: “You are terrible!" But he was saying it jokingly and I began to think that in the evening we would have to make the return trip and that our sexual experience would be the only one. When we returned to Milan, everything started again as before.

Every now and then that phrase came back: "You are really terrible!" but said with a smile as had happened in the campsite, in practice there have never been other references to what I, mentally, used to call "our first time". During the summer we lost sight because he went abroad with his family. We still spoke on the phone, but the calls were always shorter, not formal or distant but only shorter. In the last days of August, Maya's veil is torn, that is, basically the slices of ham fall out of my eyes. Mino calls me on the phone and we talk for hours, he tells me that he has fallen in love with a girl and that he feels very deeply involved, he has had sex with this girl and says that it was a beautiful thing but he is desperate because the girl doesn’t take him seriously and doesn’t want to give up her freedom, while he is madly jealous and feels terrible. Mino talks to me because he considers me a true friend whom he can trust 100%. It is evident that he is straight and that our first time for him was just a game that hasn't changed anything in his world. I had sex with him only once and he never talked about it again not because he removed the subject but because it never occurred to him. When he was in crisis with the girl he would call me and stay with me on the phone for hours, in short, I had to listen to the amorous moans of a straight guy. 

Well, I did, that is, I kept doing it because he was convinced that I was straight, I couldn't tell him the truth, because he could feel uncomfortable and then I started playing the role of the straight guy who prefers to keep women at a distance so as not to get too involved! Mino told me that it was evident that I knew how to manage women! Just think, Project, that then, for a certain period, I began to feel guilty because Mino took me seriously and I had the impression of making fun of him. Basically I was making fun of him, for his own good, but anyhow I was making fun of him. At the university he found another girl who, unlike the first, really cared about him, he had a son with her and he got married at 23, in 2010, and I went first to the wedding and then to the baptism of the son, but then we almost completely lost touch. In practice, my story, if we want to call it so, with Mino lasted almost five years. At 22 I had come to a conclusion: if you are not sure about a guy whether he is gay or not, it is better that you let him go from the beginning. Mino was a very good guy but he was straight and had to go his own way, by now I understood that a gay guy must keep away from straight guys. With Mino I have maintained a good relationship that still lasts, even if very at a distance, but it is now a kind of archaeological remnant of another age.
 
Already in 2007, at university, I had begun to look around, since with Mino it was clear that I couldn’t build anything that made sense to me. There were many beautiful guys at university, but I, after the experience with Mino, didn’t want to do the second edition, and then at university students used to think about studying and certainly not about collecting gossip that would allow to understand if a guy was gay or not. Anyway I was always on guard and always with the radar on. A couple of times I said to myself: "It could be him!" but then I was proved wrong by the facts. I was careful not to discover myself and I think that other gays did the same, but probably my way of doing, very circumspect and prudent, didn’t go unnoticed in the eyes of other gay guys. 
 
One day I realized that I was being watched by one of my colleagues, who was not, however, part of the group of so-called friends. He was a guy who looked at me every now and then and apparently he had no official reason, so to say, to behave this way, but there was a problem, a terrible problem, I didn't like this guy physically, I really didn't like him. Mino was not my charming prince, but all in all he was not so bad physically, but I didn't like Patrick (fantasy name) at all. And here  something began that would never have occurred to me before, I started running away from the one guy I knew was not only gay but also interested in me, I wasn't 100% sure but suspected it on very concrete grounds. He didn't even talk to me, he didn't come close to me, he simply observed me from a distance and I tried to avoid him but it was not easy because we were few and to avoid Patrick I started, let's say so, my straight life ... Project, I had never had sexual fantasies about girls and I never did, not even after, but I thought that being seen with a girl might cool off Patrick's undeclared enthusiasm. And here I made a terrible mistake. Since I didn't want to compete with my clearly straight colleagues, I looked for a girl who was among the least popular and also among the least talked about and enterprising. 

Among my colleagues there was Mary (this is also an invented name), a really decent girl, at a level that a straight guy could fall in love with her, not very talkative, that is, not much gossipy, but with a dignity that inspired me trust, and I started talking to her in the short intervals between one lesson and another, we used to go to the bar together for breakfast, in short, we gradually became friends. She was very reserved but also very attentive to what I said to her, she seemed to have no friends and didn't hang out with anyone, for me she was, all in all, a pleasant company, mind you, it started as a system to keep Patrick at a distance, but then it had a minimum of meaning for me too, I think that, for her, all the story was much more important, but I didn't realize these things at the time, I didn't understand how unbalanced our relationship could be and slowly I deluded her to have started a true love story.
 
She never took a step forward, she followed me but never took the initiative and I felt encouraged. Here I have to shorten the  story, even if it has not been short at all. At a certain point I invite her to dinner but on the evening of dinner I realize that I’m entering a dead end street, I understand that she is in love and I don't know how to get rid of her. After a quick dinner, the exact opposite of a romantic dinner, we go out for a walk and I confess to her that I'm gay. I think for her it was as if an anvil had fallen on her head but she maintained maximum self-control, she stayed talking to me in the car for a couple of hours, when I took her back home, before getting out of the car she took my hand, squeezed it very tightly, and told me: "I'm glad to be your friend!" I then told her clearly that I had approached her only to push away Patrick and all the rest, that is, I told her the truth and she replied: "Look, it is the first time that a guy really tells me how things are and this, beyond what you think, is a sign of respect." In fact I think that Mary has suffered a lot, but between us, after the evening of the invitation to dinner nothing has collapsed, at least apparently, indeed I would say that our relations have improved, in the sense that between us spontaneity became the rule and role games completely disappeared, she was aware that, anyway, I would be looking for a boyfriend and that sooner or later even our friendship would end, simply because we would go different paths, this was somehow inevitable, anyway she used to say: "But there is a here and now, the future will take care of itself, in the meantime let's think about the present ..." Then I learned, by underground ways, that Patrick had started a relationship with an unsuspected guy of our course, one of whom I could have sworn he was 100% straight.
 
Meanwhile, the university was over. Fortunately for me, it didn't take me long to find a job in a medium-sized road construction company. Certainly we do not build motorways but we work above all for small mountain municipalities for consolidation, enlargement and extraordinary maintenance of roads, small and medium bridges and viaducts. I work in a team with a geologist between 40 and 45 years old, very good but very professional and then married and with children, clearly far from my interests, with a girl which deals with estimates, accounts, subcontracts, in other words, she is charged of economic evaluations, she is also very competent but you see her in the office during her work hours and then you don't see her anymore. Those rare times that we in the group had a dinner together she never came, and therefore she is out of our group, then there are two other engineers, one in his 50s, very frustrated because he feels compelled, or better forced to work with rookies like me. He's also very resentful towards the managers of the company who didn’t allow him to reach a role equal to his abilities, but in reality, even if he would be able to do much more, he's a slacker who, if he can, downloads his work on other people. Then there is Gaetano, known as Tano, a guy from Benevento, little more old than me, I would definitely say a handsome guy, but with him I have little opportunity to talk, even on a professional level and just no opportunity to talk about anything else. He wears a gold ring quite similar to a wedding ring, and this pushes me to keep him off the list of eligible candidates.
 
So, at first glance, zero opportunity at work! But no! Because the works must not only to be planned but also be carried out and the company has six groups of workers specialized by type of work (excavation and earth moving, foundations, bridges and viaducts, mantle and street furniture, reinforced concrete maintenance, stone and metal structures). The company rotates the teams of workers according to the executive stage of the projects. Over the months I got to know almost all the workers in the teams, at least of the first five teams, since managers almost always sent me to supervise the execution of the work, because I had no family and I was quite happy to go to work and also to sleep outside, but since it is quite rare that on mountain roads there are stone or metal bridges, I had never met the workers of Team 6. One day they send me to a mountain village, whose territory extends down to the valley, there is a crossing of a stream on a stone bridge and the arch of the bridge seems to me in critical state and unable to stand the load of the new road and therefore I ask someone from Team 6 be sent to me to get an evaluation from an expert technician. Two days later Daniel arrives, he must have been more or less my age, I was looking at him almost enchanted by his eyes, he was really my model of a perfect man, so much so that Michelangelo's David in comparison is really ugly. Daniel is handsome, smiling, full of enthusiasm, in short, he has everything it takes to make me take a tremendous crush, but I didn't want to do the second edition of Mino, and the first day I was a bit on my own, however, always treating him in a very direct and loose way. We go and see the arch of the bridge at risk, he evaluates things by eye, does not make calculations, but he is extremely practical in dealing with construction problems, far beyond the level of his colleagues of the other teams, he tells me that according to him there is little to do, that arch would certainly not hold up and that it would be necessary to carry out load tests to be sure, anyhow it seemed to him that it would not hold.
 
The thing would be quite unpleasing, because the bridge would have to be redone exactly as it was and couldn’t have been replaced with a concrete bridge, which would have been the simplest solution. It would have been necessary to stop the works and ask for the authorization of a variant for the lot that included the bridge, which however was a new lot on which a real design had never been done. My bosses would certainly not have liked the idea and would have turned up their noses, and to convince them a very precise technical report was needed, to be presented also to the local authority that should have assumed the greatest expense. The technical report to be sent to the municipality had to be impeccable. In the evening I stayed up late to agree on what to do with Daniel. I contacted my team's geologist and he told me he would come immediately to do the tests he was responsible for, I called Tano and told him that I would need a load test on the bridge and he replied that he would also come as soon as possible with everything necessary. We agreed to meet all together on the construction site the following Saturday. On the appointed day, both Tano and the geologist began to work and collect data and the work went on until the evening. In the end they concluded that the bridge wouldn’t hold the new road with the expected loads and it would be necessary to make a new bridge, again in stone but new, with much more resistant materials and with modern criteria. They told me that they would send me the technical reports within a couple of days and that I would have to send them to the company to see what to do with the municipality. So, as far as the issue of jobs was concerned, Daniel was absolutely right, but there was another thing that I hadn't lost sight of during the day beyond Daniel's technical ability, I mean the furtive glances and the exchanges of smiles between Tano and Daniel. Tano wore that golden ring, yes, but ... the accounts just didn't add up. Both Tano's and Daniel's behavior seemed suspicious to me, and very suspicious.
 
However, on Saturday evening the geologist, Tano and Daniel went away and I stayed on the construction site to go on with the other jobs with the workers of another team. The technical issues about the bridge were unraveled fairly quickly. In a relatively short time we have designed a new bridge, with all the geological and technical reports.
 
One morning they warn me that Team 6 will come on the following Monday to start the work because most of the stone artifacts had been prefabricated and the work would have been quite quick at the level of load-bearing structures. Innediately after the other teams had to be ready tointervene for the parts of their competence. On Friday morning Daniel returns, I thought there would be the same ease climate as the first time but it doesn't happen like that, he doesn't go off the rails of work. He goes on working continuously with the company cell phone for the whole Friday and Saturday, the shoulders of the bridge had to be redone, it was a difficult job especially because the place was very tight. I should have checked Daniel's work but he knew a hundred times more than me about his job. I don’t hide from you, Project, that the situation created many problems for me. I should have spent at least a couple of weeks with Daniel, just staying together, but the atmosphere was not like that of the first time. The first day was really embarrassing, I felt like a complete moron, about the bridge, he was able to understand everything much more than I did and we couldn't talk about anything other than work. In the following days we found a balance but we only talked about work, I wondered what had happened but I kept this question to myself. The following Saturday Tano comes to help in the assembly of the supporting structures of the new arch, and here the mystery is revealed to me. Tano and Daniel tended to isolate themselves and often talked in two but they didn’t have the air of those who talk about work and between them there was an exchange of physical contacts (pats on the back) which is not typical of people who have only seen each other once for business purposes. It didn't take me long to understand why Daniel kept so far away from me. In practice, even with Daniel things had gone up in smoke. For all the time that Daniel remained on the works we both kept a low profile, but in the last days a minimum of communication was restored, we began to trust each other more, at least at the work level, but personal arguments remained a taboo.
 
Once the work was finished, I returned to my team and there I had another confirmation that something had happened between Tano and Daniel. Tano was no longer part of my team and had been replaced by an engineer who had just joined the company, one in his forties, married and with a photo of his children always on his desk. Good person, for heaven's sake, but very far from me. I asked the geologist where Tano had been moved and he said they hadn't moved him but he had asked to be sent to coordinate Team 6. The geologist insinuated that he had gone there because "Team 6 never does anything, while in our team Tano would have to work hard”, but I suspected the reason was completely different. I had no way to verify my hypothesis but the probability of having seen things just as they really were was very, very high. Tano and Daniel had their base of operations in another area of the city and so I didn't see or hear from them for a long time. The engineer, all home and family, was very good in his field and in my opinion he was a bit wasted to do a job like ours, the managers noticed it and took it to a little higher level and we remained understaffed for a few months. One morning the geologist, who was the coordinator of the team, arrives and tells me that they have sent us a new engineer who will come next morning to start his new job, but the geologist has no other news about it, he doesn't know who the new engineer is. I tidy up his office and am curious to see what the newcomer will be like. The next day I see Daniel arrive! 
 
He tells me that he finished his studies late and that he started working before graduation, but that in the end he too had made it and as he said it his eyes were shining. I don't know what to do, I feel restrained, he smiles at me as if to melt me and give me the green light. I hug him tightly and he gives me back the hug warmly, he does the same with the others in the team, but it's not exactly the same thing. During the break he says to me: "Are you coming to eat something with me?" I immediately tell him: "Sure!" and we stay together talking in a very pleasant way. He tells me about his studies and many other things, obviously he never talks about girls and from all his way of doing it is clear that he is happy to be with me. Then he talks to me about his problems at work, he tells me that Tano had been sent to Team 6 and adds "because between us there was more than a sympathy, ... and I think you understood this ..." I answer him: “I got it yes! ... and anyway ... "He tells me:" Now we're not together anymore, it wasn't a good experience, we just didn't understand each other, in short, the fact that he was my coordinator made me put maximum effort into studying, because I didn't even want to work with him ... " I asked him: "But did you deliberately choose to join our team?" He replied: "Yes ..." and looked into my eyes smiling. I told him: "And you did very well!" This was my first declaration of love to a gay guy! Up to this point it may seem like a fairy tale, but even if my relationship with Daniel has had ups and downs, it has been going on for a few years now and it seems to me strongly consolidated. He is a serious man and we love each other. At work, teammates think we are just friends but we plan to move in together. He's the one who introduced me to Gay Project and told me he knows you personally. I’m sending you a photo of us as a Christmas gift! Of course, if you want, you can publish the email.

Manuel (and Daniel)