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GAY SEX AND POSSIBLE HAPPINESS - Printable Version

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GAY SEX AND POSSIBLE HAPPINESS - gayprojectforum - 10-22-2018

Hi Project,

I do not know you in person but I started reading the forum a few years ago and I can say that it was very helpful. It occurred to me to write yoy to thank you for the enormous work you have done and to tell you that today I feel really happy! Project, at 29 (almost 30), I finally feel fulfilled. I found a wonderful guy who loves me. To build a complete trust between us it took us several months, he is a bit older than me but he has not yet turned 30, but the more I know him the more I feel in love.
 
He's serious, Project, he keeps what he promises, you feel him close to you in difficult moments, he's paying attention to what he says, he doesn’t speak inappropriately, he doesn’t give me trivial answers for complacency, he doesn’t want to be right  when he’s not right, he's willing to change his mind if there are convincing arguments and then I saw him one day on the subway, we happened to be on the same train, I was with people of my office and I couldn’t go to say hello to him and he didn’t even see me. Well there was a boy 14-15 years old, probably from a country of the Eastern Europe, who played the violin, but he sounded really good, and then begged and my boyfriend gave him 10 euros and the boy was happy and my boyfriend also congratulated the boy: "You play the violin amazingly! "This thing has really moved me, he is like that, he always tries to do something good if he can.
 
Yesterday we lived our first sexual experience and it was an extremely beautiful thing, harmony was perfect ... Project, I had had my adventures and he too, but being with him was a completely different thing. There were no problems, complexes, nothing like that, just the happiness of being together. I remember that a decade ago, when I still attended church, there was a priest, a young priest, maybe 30 years old, who talked about sex as something dirty, "selfish", to me it didn’t seem at all so, not even at that time but after being with my boyfriend I wonder who could have put those stupid ideas in mind to a 30 year old priest, heterosexual or gay, it makes no difference.
 
Sometimes I wonder how a priest can talk to others about sexuality if he has totally absurd preconceptions in mind. Sex as a form of "selfishness"? There are also those who live this way but also in the less pleasant situations in which I found myself, sex was not a game anyway and there was nothing selfish. The priest talked about "bending another person under your power!" This was sex for him! Violence? But how can you misunderstand everything up to this point? He once told me that making love, or better, having sex with a man is something that "ruins your conscience!" I remembered this expression for years. Poor priest, who has never experienced one of the most beautiful feelings in the world! He spoke of love without sexual desire and seemed to say sublime things, it seemed to him that the essence of Christianity was that! I came to ask myself if that priest would only recite a part already written or if he believed what he was saying. If he believed it, he assumed he was able to teach others things that he didn’t understand himself.
 
I'm happy to have had sex with my boyfriend, it was just a form of Love, the one with L capital, and we did it after doing the tests and then in maximum safety, I'm happy that there are no secrets between us, and that we also love each other even sexually. Why should I do without sex? because someone says that sex only serves to bring children into the world? But it doesn’t make any sense! Why should we be afraid of pleasure? Sex lived without conditioning is a beautiful thing, it is a form of Love, but why do some people fail to understand it?
 
Some time ago I was reading about a guy who said that between two guys there can only be sex and never Love and I ask myself: is it possible to be blind up to this point? You can also be straight and you perhaps want to give yourself a tone, but only an individual who needs to value himself with such tricks because he has nothing better can think that what he does is love because he does it with a woman, but if you do something with a guy it is "only sex”, and in saying "only sex" there is a form of contempt and supposed superiority that makes one feel sorry. I even met a "adult" (more or less 40 years old) a gay guy who made a similar reasoning, and perhaps had never experienced true gay sexuality.

Perhaps my things have gone well, now I'm fully happy, but even before, I've always found guys more than decent, they were not sex maniacs, they were looking for love, for affection, they were not people who exploited you, they had their complexes and their problems but there was nothing bad or stupid in all this. Why be afraid of physicality? If it is for disease prevention, ok, but there is the test and you can go further, but why be afraid of physical contact? How is it possible to think that the body corrupts the soul? It is precisely because some people lack sexual education.
 
When I was child my parents played with me, there was a lot of physical contact, I never had any inhibitions, my father always told me about sexuality, he and my mother used to cuddle each other in front of me and, in the morning, when I got up, I went to put myself in the big bed among them. When I realized I was gay, I told my father, I was not even 14 and there was no hysterical reaction, he didn’t raise any barriers, he didn’t start with doubts, he told me: "Well then, instead of a girl you will find a guy, but he must be a very good guy!" For him the essential thing was that my boyfriend was a good guy, My father didn’t even consider the problem that was a guy and not a girl.
 
I am not afraid of homosexuality, I never have been afraid of it, it because my parents weren’t afraid of it and they didn't transmit me any negative sentiment. My boyfriend came many times to my house and was welcomed like a king! I have two wonderful parents, who have given me a profound moral education, an education to freedom, as an indispensable value. My mother always told me: "You have to do what you really want, don’t let anyone influence you!" On one thing, my parents gave me examples that I will never forget, that is on the use of money, my father tells me often there are only two enemies of a peaceful life and they are money and power, when they stop to be instruments and become a goal.
 
I remember a few months ago, in a supermarket, there was the food collection for Caritas (my parents are very secular and don’t go to church but they never made problems when I started to frequent that environment). We enter the supermarket and they give us the bag where to put things to give to Caritas, my father put in the envelope of Caritas things exactly identical to those he bought for us, we didn’t say anything about but I learned a fundamental lesson: that my less fortunate neighbor is exactly like me, and that if you can do something good, you have to do it because happiness lies in these things, that’s why the story of the boy who played the violin hit me much. My boyfriend shares the basic principles of life with me.
 
I want to say one more thing. I told my parents that I made love with my boyfriend and mom told me: "I hope you can be happy as we were your father and I!" And we embraced all the three of us! My parents are old, my mother is 64 and my father is 66, but they seem younger than many guys I know, I've never seen them quarrel or raise their voices, just never! They are old but they are happy to be together and that happiness involved me too. They trusted me immediately, I felt them close when I needed them, but never in a suffocating way, I felt free but I knew that there they were.
 
Some time ago I told my father that I was very happy to have had a father like him and he was moved and I saw a tear in his eyes. Now I have a wonderful boyfriend and I repeat it to him all the time because I know he likes to hear it. He speaks very little of his family, he no longer has his parents who both died of cancer and I think for him it was a distressing thing that lasted years. We have been living together for only a few months and I want to make him happy, I want to repay him for all the suffering he had to endure, because he is a wonderful guy and I love him totally.
 
I don’t know what the future will bring us, but I feel totally fulfilled and I have to tell everyone that being gay for me was a beautiful thing. Happiness exists! And I found it!
 
Best wishes to you, Project. You don’t know how important it was for me to read the Forum!
Richard89