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BEING GAY: THE LIFE OF GAYS THROUGH THE ANALYSIS OF REAL EXPERIENCES - gayprojectforum - 04-06-2018 I am pleased to inform you that today, 30 June 2019, I have completed the revision of the "BEING GAY" volume THE LIFE OF GAYS THROUGH THE ANALYSIS OF REAL EXPERIENCES, of the Gay Project Library. The book can be downloaded in full at no cost and in a completely anonymous form by clicking on the link:
BEING GAY by Gay Project (.pdf)
BEING GAY by Gay Project (.epub for smartphones)
For convenience I add the complete index of the work. I will begin today working to put the .epub edition on the web as soon as possible. I sincerely thank anyone who wants to report errors, propose improvements or provide advice. If you like, you can contact me at: ______________________ BEING GAY GENERAL INDEX About this book 1 UNDERSTANDING TO BE GAY 1.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 1.1.1 The discovery of masturbation 1.1.2 Gay discomfort 1.1.3 Gay falling in love and frustration 1.1.4 Sexual imprinting 1.1.5 Religious education and homosexuality 1.1.6 Pornography and educational pressure 1.1.7 Masturbation and sexual orientation 1.1.8 False sexual orientation indicators 1.1.9 Awareness, mechanisms of removal and underestimation 1.1.10 Acceptance difficulties 1.2 DOCUMENTS 1.2.1 How I understood I was gay 1.2.2 I realized I was gay at 26 1.2.3 Feeling gay and reborn 1.2.4 Gay only when I masturbate 1.2.5 A difficult path to acceptance of my being gay 1.2.6 Affection for a girl and love for a gay guy 1.2.7 How to understand that you are not gay 1.2.8 Fear of being gay 1.2.9 Being aware of being gay in love and rediscovering sexuality 1.2.10 Sublimated hetero love and gay masturbation 1.2.11 I discovered I was gay at the age of 1.2.12 Heterosexual experiences of a gay guy 1.2.13 From pretended straight to gay at age of 30 1.2.14 A gay guy in love 1.2.15 Gay games of straight guys 1.2.16 Anti-gay therapy 2 BISEXUALITY 2.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 2.1.1 Dichotomy between affectivity and sexuality 2.1.2 Hetero-curious men and sexuality of escape 2.1.3 Bisexuality and masturbation 2.1.4 False bisexuality in the obsessive compulsive disorder 2.1.5 Degree of gay propensity of bisexuals 2.1.6 Bisexuality as a transitory category 2.1.7 How many are bisexuals? 2.1.8 Polarization of bisexuality 2.1.9 Bisexuality and problems arising from exclusivity 2.1.10 Devaluation of bisexuality by partners 2.1.11 Problems of the heterosexual modeling of bisexual sexuality 2.1.12 Periodic bisexuality 2.2 DOCUMENTS 2.2.1 Maybe I’m gay but I love my former girlfriend 2.2.2 Periodic bisexuality? 2.2.3 Exchange of emails with a hetero-curious 2.2.4 Exchange of emails with a bisexual almost gay 2.2.5 A married bisexual 2.2.6 Bisexuality in an online interview 2.2.7 From hetero to bisexual to gay 2.2.8 A 36 years old guy between gay and bisexual 2.2.9 A gay between a straight and a bisexual 2.2.10 Bisexuality without trauma 2.2.11 Bisexuality, prejudices and ostracism 3 COMING OUT 3.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 3.1.1 Homophobia and conformism reaction 3.1.2 Familial homophobia and defense strategies 3.1.3 Coming out and outing 3.1.4 Declared and undeclared 3.1.5 Coming out with parents 3.1.6 Unintentional coming out 3.1.7 Privacy violations and forced coming out 3.1.8 Coverage relationships and defensive coming out 3.1.9 Coming out to a guy with whom one is in love 3.2 DOCUMENTS 3.2.1 Gay guys and girls as red cross nurses 3.2.2 Coming out and physical attraction 3.2.3 Gay guys and family traps 3.2.4 Coming out as a dangerous temptation 3.2.5 A coming out ended badly 3.2.6 History of a double coming out 3.2.7 From openly gay to hidden gay 3.2.8 Coming out at school - School diary 1976-77 3.2.9 Coming out in chat 3.2.10 Gay love and coming out 3.2.11 My father gay 3.2.12 Openly gays and their relatives 4 GAY BOYS AND PARENTS 4.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 4.1.1 Family conflicts related to homosexuality 4.1.2 Religious conditioning 4.1.3 Dialogue between parents and sons 4.1.4 Parents and role of support 4.1.5 Parents and sex education of gay boys 4.1.6 Medicalization of homosexuality 4.1.7 Privacy of gay sons and parental intrusions 4.1.8 Affective education of gays and family homophobia 4.1.9 Parental victimhood 4.1.10 Parental attitudes about masturbation 4.1.11 Mother’s approach to gay son’s sexuality 4.1.12 Parents and sexual anxiety of the son 4.1.13 ”Helping” a gay son 4.1.14 Relationships of gay boys with the psychologist 4.1.15 Undue interferences in the lives of gay sons 4.1.16 False acceptance 4.1.17 Education for prevention 4.1.18 Gay boys and family violence 4.1.19 Relations between parents and gay sons 4.2 DOCUMENTS 4.2.1 That thin rubber wall 4.2.2 Father policeman and gay son 4.2.3 I have a gay son who does not even talk to me 4.2.4 Gay son and absent father 4.2.5 If I had a gay son 4.2.6 Anguish of the father of a gay son 4.2.7 A gay guy harassed by his parents 4.2.8 Gay guys between rejection and dialogue 5 REASONING WITHOUT PANIC 5.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 5.1.1 Panic and rationality 5.1.2 Objective data 5.1.3 Gays and myth of the charming prince 5.1.4 Autonomy and economic independence 5.1.5 Equilibrium between affectivity and practical life 5.1.6 Discouragement and commitment 5.1.7 Gay loneliness and gay friendships 5.1.8 Gays and possible happiness 5.1.9 Correcting one’s mistakes 5.1.10 Reversible habits and choices 5.1.11 Usefulness of moral discomfort 5.2 DOCUMENTS 5.2.1 Ok, I’m gay but I do not know what to do 5.2.2 Reflections of a gay over 30 6 GAYS AND FRUSTRATION 6.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 6.1.1 Frustration-inadequacy and frustration-rejection 6.1.2 Unachievable purposes 6.1.3 Frustrations in relationships between two gays 6.1.4 Projective mechanisms and socialization 6.1.5 Virtual relationships between gays 6.1.6 Texts not sexually connoted 6.1.7 Online chats and projective mechanisms 6.1.8 The drift of the love language 6.1.9 Friendships in chat 6.1.10 The value of experience 6.1.11 Affective frustrations and other frustrations 6.1.12 Coexisting with frustrations 6.1.13 Aggressive frustration and passive frustration 6.1.14 Different types of gay frustrations 6.1.15 Frustration before and after the arrival of the Internet 6.1.16 The risks of frustration 6.2 DOCUMENTS 6.2.1 Resist frustration 6.2.2 Understanding the origin of frustration to go beyond 6.2.3 Frustration, fear and regret 6.2.4 The cry of pain of a young gay 6.2.5 Acting a gay love 6.2.6 Gays and school of prejudices 6.2.7 Gay sex and hypocrisy 6.2.8 Christmas Eve: a text not sexually connoted 7 I’M GAY AND I’M GOOD ABOUT MYSELF 7.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 7.1.1 Being comfortable with yourself 7.1.2 Self-esteem 7.1.3 Low self-esteem linked to one’s physicality 7.1.4 Low self-esteem linked to one’s sexual physicality 7.1.5 Low self-esteem for character reasons 7.1.6 The premises to recover self-esteem 7.1.7 Parity and dependence within the couple 7.1.8 Formalization of relationships 7.1.9 Heterosexuals and (obsessive) fear of being gay 7.1.10 Gays and discomfort of being gay 7.1.11 Pessimism, depressive attitudes and self-esteem 7.1.12 Low self-esteem and search for the ideal partner 7.1.13 Unilateral discourses and dependence 7.1.14 Frenetic phase and sexual embarrassment 7.1.15 A gay story of emotional addiction 7.1.16 Gay mental narcissism 7.2 DOCUMENTS 7.2.1 Message from an old and sick gay 7.2.2 Gay experiences 7.2.3 A gay guy looking for the best guy 7.2.4 Gay dignity 7.2.5 Gay sunset 8 GAY AFFECTIVITY 8.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 8.1.1 Gay affectivity 8.1.2 Family affectivity and coming out 8.1.3 Friendship affectivity and coming out 8.1.4 Affective research and gay sexual research 8.1.5 Economic model of gay affectivity 8.1.6 Weak and gratuitous affectivity, emotional affinity 8.1.7 Free friendship and instrumental friendship 8.1.8 Friendship between gays 8.1.9 Affective equilibrium 8.1.10 Sexuality as a substitute of affectivity 8.1.11 Failure of couple life 8.1.12 Affectivity crisis and non-affective sexuality 8.2 DOCUMENTS 8.2.1 Gays and couple solidarity 8.2.2 Gay relationships without an end 8.2.3 Love stories of a gay eighteen year old 8.2.4 Gays and heterosexual nostalgia 8.2.5 Non-sexual gay love and sublimation 8.2.6 Extended gay family 8.2.7 Gay love stronger than despair 8.2.8 Love in a gay family 8.2.9 A gay coach falls in love in the gym 8.2.10 Viscous gay relationships 9 GAY SEX EDUCATION 9.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 9.1.1 Acquisition of basic concepts: male, female, couple and family 9.1.2 School books and heterosexual culture 9.1.3 Sex education through films and television 9.1.4 Sex education and sport 9.1.5 Sex education and religion 9.1.6 Parents and sex education 9.1.7 Sex education: taboo and scandal 9.1.8 Building one’s own concept of sexuality 9.1.9 Repressive sex education 9.1.10 Risks of obscurantism and prohibitionism 9.1.11 Pornography on the net 9.1.12 Sex education delegated to Church and pornography 9.1.13 Hetero-gay and gay-gay models of gay relationship 9.1.14 Hetero-gay relationship 9.1.15 Hetero-gay relationships and feminization of the gay 9.1.16 The seduction in the hetero-gay relationship 9.1.17 Evolution of hetero-gay relationships 9.1.18 Heterosexuals and gay sex 9.1.19 Motivations for the practice of sexuality 9.1.20 Married heterosexuals and gay sex 9.1.21 Birth of pornography 9.1.22 Gay-gay relationships 9.1.23 Genetic-epigenetic basis of education 9.1.24 Wrong family educational attitudes 9.1.25 Family conflicts 9.1.26 Confidence and confidentiality 9.1.27 Inadequacy of parents 9.1.28 Environmental sex education and social roles 9.1.29 Basic homo-affectivity and basic hetero-affectivity 9.1.30 The prevention of sexual abuse 9.1.31 Risks coming from the Internet 9.1.32 Affective attitudes of parents and education through the example 9.1.33 How to deal with the issue of homosexuality 9.1.34 Pedophile fantasies 9.1.35 Dogmatic preconceptions about couple life 9.2 DOCUMENTS 9.2.1 Hell and heaven of a gay guy 9.2.2 Are my sexual fantasies gay? 10 GAYS AND RELIGION 10.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 10.1.1 Religious prescriptions 10.1.2 Religious prescriptions and morality 10.1.3 Chastity 10.1.4 Prohibition-transgression-guilt 10.1.5 Religion and self-repression 10.1.6 The religion from ”doing” to ”not doing” 10.1.7 Catholic Church and masturbation 10.1.8 Catholic Church and homosexuality 10.1.9 Gay guys and confession 10.1.10 Gay guys and Catholic Church: possible options 10.1.11 Reparative therapies 10.1.12 World health organization and reparative therapies 10.2 DOCUMENTS 10.2.1 Misunderstandings among gay guys and Christian parents 10.2.2 A gay in love 10.2.3 How a gay guy confronts religion 10.2.4 Or Christian or gay 10.2.5 Church, freedom and secular morality 10.2.6 A gay guy saved from reparative therapies 10.2.7 The true story of a gay priest 11 GAY SEXUALITY 11.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 11.1.1 Contents of the chapter 11.1.2 Gay love and gay sex 11.1.3 Non-possessive gay love 11.1.4 Obstacles to love relationships 11.1.5 Fake falling in love and sexual exploration 11.1.6 Gay sex with lightness 11.1.7 Gay sex and sexual play 11.1.8 Gay sexuality and hetero affectivity 11.1.9 Late masturbation and delayed adolescence 11.1.10 Sexual violence and sexual abuse 11.1.11 Sex addiction 11.1.12 Sexual discomfort and transgressive sexuality 11.1.13 Ego-dystonic homosexuality 11.1.14 Gays and dysfunctional sex 11.1.15 Homosexuality and paraphilias 11.1.16 Gay anal sex: false myths and pornography 11.2 DOCUMENTS 11.2.1 Reconstruct a gay sexuality 11.2.2 Gay sex on cam 11.2.3 Tenderness and gay sexuality 11.2.4 A gay in the gym 11.2.5 Nakedness and gay sexuality 11.2.6 Gay themed OCD and nakedness at the gym 11.2.7 Gay sex and many doubts 11.2.8 Gay polygamy 11.2.9 One hundred percent Gay 11.2.10 Gay guys in the pool between tenderness and sexuality 11.2.11 Gay sexual behaviors 11.2.12 Gay love forever 11.2.13 Sexual abuse and gay sexuality 11.2.14 Homosexuality and sexual violence in a boarding school 11.2.15 Gay sex and sense of domination and intrusion 11.2.16 Gay guys and compulsory military service 12 GAYS AND ANXIETY 12.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 12.1.1 Reactive anxiety 12.1.2 Anxiety and homophobia 12.1.3 Anxiogenous situations for a gay 12.1.4 Taxonomic categories and interpretative categories 12.1.5 Internalized homophobia and gay discomfort 12.1.6 Interacting with an anxious subject 12.1.7 Gay Sexuality and anxiety 12.1.8 Anxiety arising from moments of uncertainty about sexual orientation 12.1.9 Anxiety from presumed inadequacy 12.1.10 Friendship and sexual confidence 12.1.11 Anxiety and problematisation of sexuality 12.1.12 How to overcome the anxieties connected to sexuality 12.2 DOCUMENTS 12.2.1 Gay sexuality and anxiety 12.2.2 Gay anxiety and socialization 12.2.3 Homosexuality, anxiety and sexual experiments 12.2.4 Gay obsessive jealousy 13 HOMOSEXUALITY AND FEELINGS OF GUILT 13.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 13.1.1 Concept of feeling of guilt 13.1.2 Function of the sense of guilt 13.1.3 Codes of behavior and individual well-being 13.1.4 Moral freedom and feelings of guilt 13.1.5 Dysfunctional attempts to overcome feelings of guilt 13.1.6 The conquest of moral freedom 13.1.7 Self-degradation 13.1.8 Dangers of behavior patterns 13.1.9 Feelings of guilt induced by theoretical models 13.1.10 Infidelity: the roots of betrayal 13.1.11 Frantic sexuality and emotional needs 13.1.12 Intenalization of the prejudice of others 13.1.13 Moralism and inability to understand the betrayal 13.1.14 Self-esteem and feelings of guilt 13.1.15 Masturbation according to the Catholic Church and feelings of guilt 13.1.16 Sexual pleasure in a document of the World Health Organization 13.2 DOCUMENTS 13.2.1 Birth of a gay couple 14 AFFECTIVITY AND SEXUALITY MODELS 14.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 14.1.1 Models of affectivity and sexuality 14.1.2 Sex-centric models and models with widespread sexuality 14.1.3 The possible gay couple 14.1.4 An attempt to put in practice an abstract model of a gay couple 14.1.5 A search for a balance without models of couple life 14.2 DOCUMENTS 14.2.1 Gay sex for not thinking 14.2.2 Gay love without gay couple 14.2.3 Gays and sexual fidelity 15 GAYS AND GAY NORMALITY 15.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 15.2 DOCUMENTS 15.2.1 A normal gay 16 GAYS AND DIVERGENT THINKING 16.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 16.2 DOCUMENTS 16.2.1 Gays and family 16.2.2 Non-possessive gay couple 16.2.3 A non-standard gay couple 17 GAY LOVE AND SOCIAL CONDITIONING 17.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 17.2 DOCUMENTS 17.2.1 Gays and social status 17.2.2 Gay couples and money 18 GAYS AND COUPLE STABILITY 18.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 18.1.1 Statistics on gay wedding 18.1.2 What results from Gay Project 18.2 DOCUMENTS 18.2.1 A gay guy who wants to come back single 18.2.2 Gay holidays 18.2.3 Beware of good gay guys! 18.2.4 My story - Crisis of a gay couple 18.2.5 Gay couples: illusions and disappointments 19 GAY INTERGENERATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS 19.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 19.2 DOCUMENTS 19.2.1 A gay couple with 40 years of age difference 19.2.2 A gay different from other gays 19.2.3 Gay guys and intergenerational sexual fantasies 19.2.4 Different among those who are different 19.2.5 Appearance and reality of a gay life 19.2.6 Gay love between a twenty-year-old and a forty-year-old 19.2.7 A gay couple 27 years together 19.2.8 Regrets and gay morality 19.2.9 Doubts of a gay 40-year-old 20 GAYS AND PREVENTION 20.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 20.1.1 Statistics on sexually transmitted diseases 20.1.2 Risky approaches to sexuality by younger guys 20.1.3 From gay dissipation to gay commitment 20.1.4 Gay love and HIV test 20.2 DOCUMENTS 20.2.1 About unprotected gay sexual intercourse 21 OCCASIONAL GAY SEX 21.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 22 DANGEROUS GAY DATING 22.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 22.2 DOCUMENTS 22.2.1 Violence and gay sex 22.2.2 Power and gay prostitution 22.2.3 University gay prostitution 22.2.4 Gays and risks in chat 22.2.5 Learning from gay experiences 23 SEX IN GAY-STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIPS 23.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 23.2 DOCUMENTS 23.2.1 Sex between a gay and a straight 23.2.2 Temptations of a gay guy in vacation 23.2.3 Gays and repressed instincts 23.2.4 Gay guys who see straight friends as gay lovers 23.2.5 Gay-hetero relationship and sexual embarrassment 24 LATENT HOMOSEXUALITY 24.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 24.1.1 Latent homosexuality and marriage 24.1.2 Gays and available guys with latent homosexuality 24.2 DOCUMENTS 24.2.1 Is he a latent gay? 25 GAY SEX FANTASIES AND OBSESSIVE CONTENTS 25.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 25.1.1 Gay sex fantasies and obsessive contents 25.1.2 A real case of gay-themed obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) 25.1.3 Sexual abuse and obsessive contents 26 MARRIED GAYS 26.1 GENERAL OVERVIEW 26.1.1 Homosexuality as guilt-pathology and marriage as a remedy 26.1.2 Email from a gay guy about to marry 26.1.3 Underestimation of gay sexuality and overvaluation of that hetero one 26.1.4 The reactions of the girls 26.1.5 Gay husbands and conflictive marriage 26.1.6 How married gays live their gay sexuality 26.1.7 Critical points of a gay’s journey towards marriage 26.1.8 Non-possessive women in love with gay men 26.1.9 Women exploited by gay guys 26.2 DOCUMENTS 26.2.1 A girl in love with a gay guy 26.2.2 A girl in love with a repressed gay guy 26.2.3 Story of a married gay guy 26.2.4 Experiences of a married gay 26.2.5 Gay fantasies of a married man 26.2.6 A married gay guy who has not repented 26.2.7 Falling in love with a married man 26.2.8 Falling in love with a married guy - a very complicated situation |