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Full Version: ACTING A GAY LOVE
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Dear Project, mine will perhaps be a voice very in contrast to the contents of the forum, perhaps because I am frustrated, perhaps because the negative things happen only to me . . . forget it. I read very beautiful stories, and I'm glad that these things exist, but how is it that I've never experienced such things? 

In my life (I have just turned 30) I have not met delinquents, this is true, but not even saints willing to sacrifice for the neighbor, I found so many mediocre people, I think more or less like me, who made big altruistic talk but in the end were interested only in their own business, many little men and little women, without a real personality, without a distorted personality precisely because without any personality, ready to sell themselves and sell you to realize the first stupid thing that comes to their mind. I did it too, and I'm not ashamed of it, because life works like that and fairy tales are much more dangerous than a stupid reality. I don’t accuse anyone, but I never saw the gay paradise on earth, and among the straight things are more or less identical. 

Everyone thinks only of himself and if there is a wise thing it is to think of one's own business. Years ago I thought it was possible to fall in love, today I think it's the most stupid thing that can happen to us. Falling in love is not an altruistic thing, it just means expecting something from someone, expecting a correspondence of feelings that cannot be there and when one understands it, it’s always too late. Falling in love is not part of being but of possessing. I wonder if I really am the only loser who has always taken the wrong card and has also given it, or if they are others who continue to believe in the fantasies because they need to call love their sense of possession. 

But it would not be easier and even more honest to go to one and say: "Do you want to have a little sex with me and then friends as before?" And instead we falsify everything and invent a completely false novel. I can understand maybe the eighteen year old guy who has never experienced such things, but the 25-30 year old guys who did and suffered things of any kind should have passed the stage of the romance. 

A few days ago it happened to me that someone tried to get along with me, so long as it is a little talk, ok, no small talk is denied to anyone, but then he started acting (clearly it was not a play for him) the part of the lover and then I felt a moment of rejection. I cannot stand sticky things, I cannot stand the big words behind which there is nothing. I reacted badly and sent him to hell. 

If one still needs to act like children, well, he can do whatever he wants, but I have no time to waste behind such things. Now I resumed attending my old straight friends, at least there is no risk that I make a declaration of love, they play it with girls, in short, the whole world is always the same thing. You say, Project, that being gay is a way of loving, if it were so, there would be very few gays, being gay has nothing noble, as there is nothing noble in being straight. We're all poor clowns who need a script to play!