Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
NON-POSSESSIVE GAY COUPLE
#1
- Virgil: hello Project! 
- Project: Hello !! Nice to hear you! How are you now that you're home?
- Virgil: eh eh, the appearance is of tranquility
- Project: Wow !!! So it must be. . . But why appearance?
- Virgil: staying here makes me a rather strange effect
- Project: well, you stay at home, with your traditional friends, with people you should know better, or at least you attended for a longer time
- Virgil: yes, but the feeling is not to know them , in reality . . . it's like a farce. . . it's really weird
- Project: oh oh, I can understand, in fact that's your virtual world
- Virgil: what do you mean?
- Project: that even at home and perhaps especially at home you cannot feel free as you would like, maybe you're more free when you're away
- Virgil: I talk about those I've known for a long time. . . the feeling is that of not having (almost) ever had real conversations with them
-Project: Mh ...
- Virgil: yes, indeed. . . that's what I told you the other night. . . that with the few that I knew outside I actually had conversations really more free than those I had with the guys I had considered friends from the beginning
- Project: I understand it well, I'm old but my real world is just PG
- Virgil: even if about friends of outside I'm afraid of not being able to count on them at the moment of need . . . but maybe I'm wrong
- Project: even out there are guys ok!
- Virgil: I wanted to ask you something more about the couple freedom and possessiveness, if you have 5 minutes. . . you told me that it's not feasible to ask for 100% of a person, a couple relationship this way could not work. . . and that often relations with third parties based on exchanges of looks or even words can be deeper than those in which there is sex
- Project: they are different things, certainly if there is a TRUE sexual and also emotional involvement, we are at another level but it is not so common, often people try to live in couple just to try and or to experience
- Virgil: of course. . . I totally agree . . . what I wanted to ask you is about a possible relationship with true emotional and sexual involvement. . . premise: in the context of such a relationship, afternoons spent chatting with other people with whom another true emotional relationship has been established should be totally normal, I mean in the context of the speech about the impossibility of asking for 100% of a person. . . question: what if these relationships with other people (both true relationships, these and that with the first person) were to be configured as a betrayal according to the common conception (i.e. they entailed pampering and, in the extreme case, sex)? Do they become wrong relationships? And if so, what does the sex element entail in making a true relationship with a third person more wrong than the true relationship with the first?
- Project: everything is in people's brains, there are guys who "if it is not really a betrayal" don’t get upset but must first understand that their relationship is not in crisis, it is not easy for them to understand it, but if there is a true emotional relationship and it is understood that the needs of the other are not superficial, it is also possible that the thing is not considered a betrayal and doesn’t undermine anything. The possessiveness is dangerous but it is the common way of seeing
- Virgil: I agree with you, but if it is the common way of seeing, it doesn’t mean that it is the best one. . .
- Project: I don’t think it's the best one, I mean that if you really love a guy and you realize, talking to him explicitly, that he loves a third guy, possibly even with sexual involvement, if you understand that this fact doesn’t destroy your relationship, in the end you don’t stay bad and accept it. This way of looking at things is not the common way of seeing but is founded on a very deep affective relationship, more important than prejudices
- Virgil: Ok, I try to go on, what do you think of the case in which the two relationships, both true and sincere, naturally evolve towards the dissolution of the former and the strengthening of that with the hypothetical third person? Should the true relationship with the third person have been avoided? Should it have to be undertaken only after interrupting the one with the first person? (all traditional conclusions that I don’t share but that put me to the test as they represent the commonly accepted view) and, to bring the discussion to its extreme, is it possible that these true relationships can coexist?
- Project: the fact that the second relationship can become more important than the first is possible but is not automatically destructive of the former, about the coexistence of the two relationships, I think they can coexist, I have seen situations like these that lasted long, but over time then social and cultural pressure easily leads to a break of balance
- Virgil: How nice to read it from you! It a little calms me. . .
- Project: why?
- Virgil: because you have my own vision and to think that I'm the only one who thinks so it makes me feel wrong, a bit as it is, and even more previously it was, thinking of being the only one who feels affection for the guys!
- Project: affectivity has no rules and is instinctive, true betrayal consists in hiding and not saying how things really are. But if a guy who loves you tells you that he loves also another guy, what do you do? Do you drive him away because you have no more the exclusive? On the contrary you make sure that he can realize his wishes at the higher level and you don’t abandon him, if you really love him, to avoid him live as a negative thing the feelings he feels for the other guy
- Virgil: since I feel a deep esteem towards you reading you somehow makes me feel in good company
- Project: slowly this way of seeing things is spreading and it will be more and more shared, especially in the gay field
- Virgil: Really! That attitude towards affection for another guy is what I feel too!
- Project: if you love a guy, you want him to feel good not only with you but that he is well according to his way of feeling
- Virgil: I would almost say Holy Words !! Or maybe not, not words of the saints of the near future. . .
- Project: the love is not a contract, there are no conditions, there are no obligations
- Virgil: why you don’t publish this chat? (changing my name obviously) I think it can be a useful food for thought! (and also for possible moral battles)
- Project: ok, and I’ll also put it in the manual
- Virgil: I would love to know how the guys take it but I think they will not take it well
- Project: it undermines the traditional ways of reasoning, those inherited from the concept of marriage. Possessiveness is a very ingrained thing, but let's see what happens!
- Virgil: ok, Project, thanks and see you next time, I'm going to sleep that it's very late. A hug and goodnight!
- Project: Night and see you soon!
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)