Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
What relationships? In my opinion, things that make sense and nothing trivial ... so, now, just to say, maybe you think: you have the boyfriend ... and you don’t miss anything! ... but life is not just that with the boyfriend ... there are also other things. Now chatting so abstract about these things is strange but in the life of each of us many things are valuable and also important, maybe such things don’t appear, they seem stupid things but really exist. 

The people who are important to you, all have different roles and roles that don’t overlap, I have the boyfriend ... and this is important, I know ... but I need also different things ... for example there are many types of cuddles, some of them only your boyfriend can do, all right, but not others, but for example, I don’t know, an encouragement, or the fact that two guys stay to talk together even starting from different points of view, the fact that maybe he knows about you and doesn’t judge you, that accepts you as you are. 

Now, in my life I have missed so many things since I was a kid, at a family level, I say, I would have wanted cuddles, I wanted them desperately and instead for me there have never been. When I did something, as soon as I had done it, it was necessarily judged a stupid thing ... well ... allow me it, I like being told that I'm worth something. We speak, yes, we talk a lot, especially when my boyfriend is not there ... and for me it makes sense, it's not just something to waste time ... that is, if someone is listening and talking to you for hours ... well, it means something ... but sometimes we get to the loggerheads too, I also say some wickedness against Alec... yes, on the things he does ... in short, no malice, I don’t come to that, but I speak very clear and he too gets angry with me ... always, you know, in a very calm, but decided ... he preaches to me ... but no one has ever done the preach to me that way. 
At my house they have never worried about or they only stated judgements and made me feel bad, I always looked for the affection of my parents ... I told you so ... and sometimes desperately and l never got it. My family was not really a family, I was the black sheep ... you know, a gay guy ... in short, the family's honor was at risk and they made me feel it in every way ... 

In short, I would have liked so much living in a real family ... because for a gay guy the family is fundamental, if it doesn’t support you so much or it even hinders you, your family can destroy you inside ... because freedom is good but real life is not only that ... being alone make you feel really bad ... With Alec, you know, there is a bit of a "family love" ... I don’t know how to explain myself, I'm glad when I find his messages, that is not that I don’t survive if I don’t find them, but if they is there, I am pleased and I go often to see if there is a message of his.
For example ... about my boyfriend, he only says positive things. I told Mark so many times: "One day or another I'll introduce him to you ..." Mark was wary, he didn’t really want to know him but I insisted and at the end I convinced him,
I didn’t know what would happen and a bit I was anxious, then we saw all three of us ... I thought we would talk, but no ... we just said hello, then he said that the afternoon was beautiful and that I and Mark had to spend it together, not together with him, together just me and Mark ... Mark liked him, he said that Alec was inclined to smiling and that he was a positive person ... at least so he saw each other for the first time ...
In some periods I don’t hear him for several days, even for ten days, but I know that he has not forgotten me, when you feel so it is as if you had talked with him the day before ... that is really a thing family type ... no ... something like it should be a family thing because my family was not like that at all. … a bit he is a substitute for a family environment and then there is one thing that strikes me a lot, which in the end we reason more or less in the same way, if something for me has an important meaning he understands it, i.e. about many things he reasons a bit like me ... it is not a trivial fact, it is not a comparison between deaf or between different worlds ... we are of the same world and I’m very interested in knowing what he thinks of me ... 

I don’t see him as a competitor of Mark and he too doesn’t see himself this way, he has nothing to do with such roles ... ah, another thing, he never really gets angry ... at least with me ... maybe we don’t agree on everything ... but we discuss and don’t destroy anything and a bit I feel important and I think he feels the same. It seems strange eh? Marco is not jealous of him at all and often asks me: "What did he tell you?" And I tell him what we talked about. 

Now I have not heard from him for a week and I miss him a little, but tonight I'm looking for him, he almost never calls me but it's not out of disinterest, I know that. It's a friend yes, yes, a true friend, maybe something more, a kind of brother and I know he thinks of me ... but no, look, not stupidly or for some reason ... just because we love each other, even if another way. 

I feel better now because he  is there ... if he were not there I would miss him, he resizes me, in the sense that makes me see things for what they are, a little I'm sorry when he shoot against my dreams, but maybe I need even that, but I like it very much when it breaks down my worries and tells me that everything is fine and that I have no serious reasons to worry, so far he has always been right, more or less, and he has really a certain reassuring effect on me, he sees things from afar, he has other perspectives, this is evident, but for me at the end of the day it is important the same, that is he can give me things that other people cannot give me. I know it's hard to believe but it's so ... and he says that I'm important to him and I know it's true ... and Mark knows that too ... but there has never been any problem. .. are different planes, parallel planes that don’t touch, a little I have my family reconstituted this way ...

Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)