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GAY SEXUALITY AND NAKEDNESS
#1
[Below is a discussion on the relationship between gay sexuality and nakedness appeared on Gay Project Forum.]
 
Hi, I would like to tell you a little about the story of my sexuality, at least summarily. In short, the point is that I don’t feel all this craving to do certain things with a guy. I read everywhere that there are guys who in order to have sex with a friend, would do who knows what and up to this point I can even agree, but can you explain to me what does it mean to have sex with a guy? Of porn videos I see many but now I'm immunized and in practice porn no longer makes me any effect, I have been also with some guys (i.e. I have not had sex, but I went close) but it seemed very stupid and repetitive, more a thing of transgression for the transgression than else. Guys attract me, all right, but I don’t have the fixed idea of doing something in particular.
 
For example, I like some porn videos  at the beginning, and especially if the guys are beautiful, but then seem to me really stupid, I mean false, if things had gone on with a guy like I see in some porn, making love would be a very stupid thing. So I have talked about this with my friends, with those who are also gay, obviously, but they don’t see it like me and they find themselves in  the porn. I, if I have to think of something that involves me as I would, I would also like to play with my boyfriend, I would like an atmosphere not only sexual, I would like to feel good together, let's say, not just sex and, for example once with a guy that I liked we were at the beach, that is, in practice we were alone in the cabin all day naked, then we even masturbated, he said he was straight and I didn’t tell him anything about me, but it was nice that there was no embarrassment at all, that is, I was with him as if he were not there, but he was there.
 
I don’t know how to say but it was nice that my friend did not mind being naked in front of me or even masturbating, we also had a lot of fun, we laughed a lot of time. I don’t know if this is sex, but it was beautiful, I want something like that. I almost don’t even care if he's gay or straight, that guy said he was straight but I had a great time anyway.
 
I have been also with guys I found in a site, in practice only for sex but I didn’t do anything, when we saw each other they were rough and  had a single fixed idea, I sent them immediately to hell ... and they wanted to have an intercourse without a condom!
 
When I have erotic dreams in practice my model is what we did in the cabin on the beach, this way I feel at ease. Friends tell me that I’m still too young (16) and that I have to grow up to learn to understand certain things but I think I will not change at all.
 
Then there is something that excites me to the maximum and it is when I go to the beach with some school friends who are not gay, there are showers without divisions, in practice we take a shower all together, that for me is a beautiful thing that involves me too much, I make a huge effort to avoid erection but self-control works well, but then the memory of certain situations remains in my brain and I masturbate a lot of times thinking of that, but not thinking of doing stuff with those guys but just of being together in the locker room all naked, it's beautiful and I like it a lot.
 
Do you think I still have to grow up to think about things that others think? But such things don’t really involve me. For me the maximum is being naked together and play a bit. In the showers, I always behave like an idiot and they let me do because they think that I’m straight, therefore we can also have a fun between us “all straight guys” we can experience a bit of freedom, and I take advantage of that but I play just behaving as a stupid but it's not a sexual thing it's just that I enjoy it because I'm fine naked with my naked friends.
 
A fantasy that I have in mind is to go to a nudist beach, just to see the naked guys without the thing that you have to do necessarily something sexual, I'd like to see them because a naked guy is nice to see even if he is straight. I don’t know if only gay guys go to the nudist beaches but I don’t believe so and then for me, just to see and no more, gay or straight does all the same. I never went to a nudist beach because I'm a little scared, even though I look older than I’m.
 
Project, but has all this something to do with gays or are just my own things that maybe are out of the gay field? But I'm gay, I have no problems with my being gay, or at least I think so.
 
Project answers 
 
In fact, collective nudity is a subject of which we speak very little but that for gay guys it is a very strong interest and also a cause for anxiety. In general, the question is underestimated precisely because the problem of collective nudity is a typical gay problem. In Italy, showers and changing rooms are divided by gender, precisely because, assuming that the whole population is heterosexual, separating the environments by gender, it is possible to prevent sexual involvement in the locker rooms.
 
The premise that everyone is hetero, however, is wrong and, while for the straight guys, locker rooms and showers remain an environment substantially neutral from the sexual point of view, for gay guys the same environments are at the same time particularly stimulating and even sometimes strongly anxiogenic because it is true that you can see your friends naked but it is equally true that you too have to be naked in front of them and for a gay guy being naked together with other naked guys can cause problems of erection and considerable embarrassment.
 
Many gay guys practice sports in a systematic way and now they are so used to the locker rooms and showers that it doesn’t create them any problem but doesn’t even create any sexual stimulation. Everything depends on education and acquired habits. The habit takes away the sexual halo to situations of collective nudity. You may be embarrassed by the possible feelings of inferiority that you can feel, both for the size of the penis and for the general physical state, but with the habit these things are also minimized. It’s obvious that those who attend sports environments can find a lot of really beautiful guys, but the first rule is to accept oneself for what one is. It is obvious that being 20 years old, or 40 or 60, are things very different, just as being athletic and toned by physical constitution or having the belly, having flaccid muscles and losing hair. In short, one is what he is.
 
The same goes for the nudist beaches too. In Italy the word “nudist” is enough to evoke scenes of an erotic tale, but, let's understand each other, in many countries, particularly in northern Europe, nudism is practiced at the family level and no one gets surprised because there is a different culture of nakedness.
 
Alessandro answers
 
 Project, this time I don’t agree with what you write! I have been practicing sport in the gym more or less all my life and even before I started doing sport I used to go to the locker rooms because I used to accompany my older brother to the gym for his training! I don’t hide that I'm really fed up with this sentence "shame in the locker room = gay". When I was I little boy, when we caught someone in the locker room who was ashamed or who took a shower at home or even worse taking a shower wearing briefs (well there are those who do it!) automatically he was teased with nicknames that we can imagine, but over time these guys proved to be 100% heterosexual. It is absolutely not true that the topic "locker room" is a purely homosexual topic! It is a false myth!
 
The same goes for the erection story! Who said erection in the locker room is something only for gays? It's never happened to me, and yet I'm gay!! But I have seen guys and even people over 40 engaged or married in a "not really relaxed" state! But nobody has ever made problems! Growing up we understand that they are quite normal things, that in a male environment are not even noticed! If we talk about locker rooms for boys aged 14-17, well, there are real "little contests" for those who are more gifted!! And I assure you it's not a strangeness!
 
When I was on the team and I used to  talk with friends from other teams, we told each other lots of stories and jokes about our performances and the thing was also recurring, because you understand that it was like an added value in short, it was something that involved our male reputation .. I think that gay guys who go into  paranoia thinking of entering locker rooms or of taking a shower with other guys or similar things do it because they think that everyone is there to look at them as if they had the cameras pointed at them and it is perhaps this that amplifies fears and pushes (gay) guys to be afraid of things that doesn't exist at all!!
 
Roadbike answers
 
Exactly, and I can testify it, being a naturist / nudist. The discomfort of the nude is a taboo only here in Italy, while in other countries collective nudity is normal, both in sports and in family environments, as Project has rightly written. Unfortunately, the Italian mentality on the nude is very archaic, showing oneself is still seen as something forbidden or inherent in sex, and it is a wrong and distorted image. According to this mentality the nude is to be forbidden or to be restricted only to certain appropriate environments. It also depends on the family environment in which a boy grows, of course if parents or other relatives instill in children an extreme sense of modesty and shame, and insist on the fact that it is "sin" to be naked or simply to see the nakedness of others, with the growing up the boy in question will have problems in showing himself naked in the locker rooms or in other places. The first thing that prevents someone from undressing is the usual problem of the comparison of bodies and genitals with other boys, but if a guy over time acquires an open mind on the nude, also gaining confidence in himself, certainly will not have the problem of how others can see him. We are born with physical characteristics transmitted by our parents, and I see no reason (unlike ignorant and stupid people), to make fun of  boys if they are lean or obese or do not have adequate physical shape. Being naturist always made me feel comfortable in the collective nudity simply because naturists / nudists saw the nude as an expression of a person's soul, and not as a way of showing off the physical "faults" boys should be ashamed of, hiding themselves with clothes for fear of being criticized, mocked and judged.
 
Giorgino answers
 
I have been doing sport for over 20 years, I have been a soldier, I’m a nudist convinced. Having said this, I must say that I have seen hundreds of naked males aged between 14 and 70 years old. When we were in the locker room just me and a friend of mine, he was walking happily "in joy" without problems, and it happened to me too, I don’t deny it.
 
It's not the locker rooms that make you feel the sense and the pleasure of the nude, considering that if you get an erection you're forced to think about the most horrible things in the world to send it down.
 
The pleasure of naturism and naked living is precisely the freedom of the body. Which doesn’t mean sex or sexuality but only freedom. We are all like one another, we are made in the same way and if you cannot find yourself at ease doing naturism ... well ... I consider it a problem. I believe that the pleasure of naturism and being naked is reflected on the well-being of the body and the knowledge of one's own body. Me and my partner's brother (who is straight but knows everything) usually take a bath together talking and drinking our beers. It is beautiful, loose and extremely natural behavior. And, probably, you will not believe it, but we started doing so when he knew I was gay. So, enjoy the freedom of your body without problems and you will be quieter in the mind, in the body and towards society.
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