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GAY LOVING TRIANGLE
#1
Hi Project,
I’m a gay guy recently thirty years old and all in all I feel young in body and spirit, I have had my experiences, I have been with some guys and I also had a more serious story, which then ended in nothing, that is, it died out for attrition and without trauma, but we never lived together or anything like that, which were just logistically impracticable and perhaps would have accelerated the collapse of our relationship. But all of this belongs to the past. I state that I didn’t know Gay Project because I didn’t go online, my gay life was very direct, the classic applications, which in practice for me have been a kind of addiction, especially in recent years. Now, in those APs the climate has improved, there are many very normal guys and in some way people can also have interesting encounters, if they doesn’t look for the moon. 

However, for about a year I have been out of that world because there have been new and unexpected events that have absorbed me almost completely and have also risked putting my work in crisis, which fortunately I managed to save, and I started to go around the net  from about a year and it was exactly in that period that I found Gay project, I found it because I was looking for answers to the situation I was experiencing and that I didn't know how to unravel. I’m not publicly declared, I still live with my parents who know nothing about me and don’t even remotely imagine the truth. 

A year ago, at the beginning of the summer of 2020, I met a girl (not a guy) at work, whom I will call Cinzia, with whom I created a somewhat special friendship. In such a situation, what do you do? You think you have to be careful, that you don’t know what she can put in her head and therefore, even if you are a friend, you keep her a bit at a distance. She acts as a friend, nothing else, but as an affectionate friend, as a very present friend even if a little remote. I didn't know anything about her, then, when we got to know each other a little better, but always on a very superficial level, she started talking about Mauro, it was not very clear if Mauro was her boyfriend or just a friend because the talks about Mauro were vague, she never said "my boyfriend" or anything like that, in short, he could even be just a friend, so I couldn't get the idea that Cinzia had a crush on me out of my head. Every now and then she called me on the phone but in an apparently disengaged way. 

I was afraid that sooner or later she would ask me to go out with her, but it didn't happen and I was pending and I didn't know how to behave, telling her “look I'm gay” was absolutely unthinkable and she had no element that could make her think that I was. After a couple of months of back and forth, she proposes to go out together and then it was possible only with the mask and the spacer, so, in fact, I didn't have much to fear, and so I accept. I don’t tell you in the afternoon what I began to think, that I had been stupid and that I had let myself be outwitted, that now I would no longer know how to get out of a situation in which I had thrown myself like an idiot, etc. etc.. 

The morning of the appointment she calls me and says: "Do you mind if Mauro comes too?" According to the classical script a straight guy should have been mad while I was so happy, I didn't know who Mauro was but at least I wouldn't have been forced to spend hours alone with Cinzia. The appointment was for nine. I’m in the place established ten minutes earlier and I see them on the other side of the square waiting for nine o'clock before approaching the established point, it is evident that they don’t see me and it is equally evident that Mauro is Cinzia's boyfriend because they play and pamper each other just like two lovers. I wait patiently for nine o'clock and they cross the square. As soon as Cinzia sees me from a distance she makes great gestures with her arms. We say goodbye from a distance, as is done in covid time, then she introduces me to Mauro, and here the troubles begin, because even if Mauro wears a mask you can see that he is a beautiful guy and when he says hello he flashes me a smile that puts me in crisis. Obviously I have to keep a controlled behavior, I ignore it and we start the walk in the city. 

We walk shoulder to shoulder, me in the middle, an embarrassing position, because I have to turn to Cinzia who is expecting it, while I would like to turn away. Cinzia never ends to speak, Mauro is silent, I speak as little as possible and only about monuments and historical facts. If Mauro hadn't been there, I would have tried to cut it short and leave before lunchtime, but Mauro was there and so I proposed to eat something together, Cinzia didn't expect it but Mauro immediately said yes. Obviously only take-away pizza, and we took it to a large public park where there were two benches facing each other, they were on one bench and I on the other. Cinzia looked me straight in the eye while Mauro was apparently distracted and was doing neck movement exercises, but when I caught him looking at me (and he did it trying not to be noticed!) he immediately looked away. 

This situation lasted more than an hour. To overcome the embarrassment, I began to tell all the jokes I knew, Cinzia laughed but was distracted, Mauro took advantage of the joke to be able to look me straight in the eye at least for a moment, there was also a laugh but also something else. At the end of the afternoon we said goodbye. Mauro asked me for my mobile number, Cinzia said: "Come on, I have it ..." but Mauro insisted and I gave him the number that he immediately tried, calling me. Cinzia didn’t give weight to this fact but I was positively impressed. 

Cinzia worked with me and I saw her every day, Mauro I would only see him again with Cinzia and somehow I understood that his calling me immediately, to check the number was actually a soft way that he had devised to make sure that I too I had his mobile number and in fact I saved it in my diary. A few days later I received an absolutely unexpected and very welcome call from Mauro (by the way he has a beautiful voice), I didn't know how to interpret it because it was a seemingly generic phone call, but the conclusion left me thrilled: "Please, don't tell Cinzia that I called you, because, for her, her friends are only hers, and she would see it as a field invasion." This expression, decoded, means: "please, keep our contacts confidential!" 

After a few days he calls me back, again generic phone call with a similar conclusion, and I answer him: "No need to say!" In the meantime my contacts, professional and not, with Cinzia go on normally, except for the fact that her boyfriend and I were in daily touch without her knowledge, and you can’t tell me that such a thing doesn’t set the brain in motion. Ten days pass and the inevitable happens. Cinzia asks me to go out with her but specifies that Mauro will not be there. I think that she has some fantasy about me and for a while I manage to postpone, in the meantime I notice Mauro, who obviously knew nothing about it, and who tells me: "Be careful because in my opinion, for her you are not just a friend ..." Even this speech is very strange and doesn’t follow the logic of a straight guy whose girlfriend may have fallen in love with me, he tells me that Cinzia is perhaps in love with me and that I have to be careful! 

But be careful of what? Was he suggesting me I had not to put myself between them or not to correspond too much to Cinzia's requests because I would have been conditioned by them? I could not speak clearly neither to him nor to her. I go out with Cinzia, who tells me she loves Mauro, but doesn't say she is in love with him, and she looks at me with two languid eyes as if to invite me to make the first move, what I dislike at all and in fact I cut it short. A the end of the afternoon she was disappointed and I was worried. 

In the evening Mauro calls me and asks me how it went, but obviously I can't tell him that his girlfriend somehow tried to seduce me and that’s why I try not to answer, and then he tells me: "I'll tell you how it went: she he tried something with you ... isn’t it?" I interrupt him and tell him that I feel embarrassed, but he continues: "I also know how it ended, tell me if I'm wrong, you cut it short ..." I told him: "Well, she's your girlfriend, not mine ..." At this point he didn't know what to answer but the whole conversation was very strange to be really the talk of two straight guys in an awkward situation. After a while Mauro continued: "Anyway, be careful!" I instinctively thought he was threatening me and I said: "Don't worry, you have nothing to fear!" and he replied: "I know, but be careful!" 

He knew he had nothing to fear from me, but why? Because I, a loyal straight friend, don’t start undermining a friend's girlfriend or because I was perhaps not exactly the classic straight friend in his eyes. I was wondering if Mauro could have understood something about me, but all the elements he had at his disposal should have led him to conclude that I was 100% straight, save for a few stolen glances that perhaps he had noticed. Cinzia at work checked me continuously, if she saw that I was approaching some female colleague she would immediately move away, however after the embarrassed outcome of the last meeting there were no other meetings, I saw her as an animal in a cage and I didn’t know how to behave. 

A certain friendship had formed with Mauro, but one of the typical ones between two straight guys who tell each other about their love passions or embarrassments. Mauro was nervous, tense, clearly his relationship with Cinzia conditioned him, it was evident that he couldn’t take it anymore, but it was equally evident that he didn’t have the courage to tell it Cinzia and that he was struggling to play the role of the lover. When he came to my house, Mauro was calmer. He took off his shoes as usually and lay down on my bed, we used to talk in scattered words, never a quite long speech from start to finish, rather detached sentences and very full of non-explicit meanings. 

Cinzia didn't know that Mauro spent more time at my house than with her, but she feared me and conditioned me and the fact that we worked together was becoming unbearable for both of us. 

One day, in the throes of a moment of real mental confusion, I resigned. My boss begged me to stay but I was adamant and kept my resignation, anyhow I agreed to leave my work after 30 days and not right away, precisely because the boss asked me for it as a personal favor. It was precisely this postponement of 30 days that then allowed me to withdraw my resignation to the great joy of my boss. Obviously I didn't say anything to Cinzia about the resignation, then at a certain point Cinzia disappeared, I asked the boss why and he told me she was on maternity leave, when I found it out I didn't know what to think, a son of Mauro? 

This would have made all my suppositions collapse and then it was a long time since Cinzia and Mauro had not had a good relationship. The accounts didn't add up. I called her on the phone and I didn't know where to start but the conversation took a very unexpected  turn. She told me: "I know that I made you suffer as I made Mauro suffer too, but I was not in love with you, I was trying to get another guy out of my head, the father of the child, but for me the only possible love was him, I was with Mauro we joked together, I used him as an antidote to detach myself from the father of the child, I thought it could work but it didn't work, I think Mauro understood that there were things I couldn't tell him, he was a friend but I wasn’t in love with him and I never had the courage to speak out crearly, I'm sorry for everything that happened ... and with you it was more or less the same, but you stopped me immediately and you did well because I never stopped seeing the child's father, not even when I was with Mauro ..." 

I said: "God forbid you don't have to follow your heart, but why did you want to get him out of your head?" She answered me: “I thought he wasn't interested and instead he was just worried and thought I didn't really love him and he felt really bad when I got together with Mauro. Poor Mauro, I shamefully took advantage of him and never told him the truth and I don't have the courage to tell it him even now. " I looked into her eyes and said: "I'll tell him, I think I still have his number ..." She just smiled and then said "Are you coming to the baptism?" I told her: "Sure!" And she said to me: "Who knows if Mauro will come too." I told her: "I really think he will come!" So our threesome story ended, in the sense that Cinzia put herself out of the game, at least she managed to achieve what she really wanted, but now comes the fun! 

I call Mauro on the phone, I tell him the whole story, he is very happy, a little for Cinzia, a little for himself and a little for me. Doing the math I had come to the conclusion that Mauro could be gay, but it was more a conjecture than anything else, he had been with Cinzia for months and it didn't seem to me that Cinzia had ever suspected anything like this, he came to my house quite often, but there had been nothing that could authorize me to take a step further. Our relationship could very well have been a friendship between two straight guys. I never told him about my life before Cinzia and he too did exactly the same, so you understand that running with the imagination is not advisable. 

He is handsome, he is the guy I have always dreamed of, but everything has been blocked for months now, it just doesn't seem to me that when he comes to me he has the slightest fantasy of doing anything other than lying on the bed, chat a bit of this and that and watch a bit of television. We never talk about private things, that is, we never talk about girls or guys; sex, at any level, has never been part of our conversations which, among other things, have nothing to do with eroticism. 

He is beautiful, has a sexy voice, etc. etc., and then that's it, it all ends there, at least that's what I think, even if I'm not 100% sure. He didn’t look for another girl but not even for a guy, with me he never mentioned what kind of relationship he had with Cinzia, so I’m in total darkness. What should I do, Project? I just don't know. If you want, you can post the email in the forum, the names have changed and also some details, but the story in essence is authentic.
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