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GAY GUYS LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND IN CHAT
#1
Hi Project,

I really arrived at the limit. I know that the whole story is at the limit of the incredible and that from the outside it seems a total absurdity, and yet it is a real story. In all it lasted a month, fortunately only a month.
 
A month or so ago, I enter a chat, where I see the profile of a guy I liked enough, and I contact him. We talk a bit of this and that, then, you know how these things work, we exchanged a bit of photos, but serious photos, no nude or something. He was really a nice guy, let's say that I had never found one so much complying with my standards (which are not at all easy). We start talking, because I want to understand what he thinks of me, if he thinks it can be done and he tells me that I'm beautiful, which is not really true at all, but he says so all the same and I feel deeply flattered. We talk for hours. He is very attentive to my reactions, he is not the usual rough guy you can find in some chats like that, he treats me well and I also treat him well and above all we don’t talk about sex, and in certain situations it is very rare and a sign of seriousness. When we go to sleep it’s almost dawn and I am very happy to have met him and I begin to dream that at last my loneliness is over. We arranged to meet in chat the next evening. We talk again very pleasantly, he calls me Cucciolo (Puppy), he tells me a lot of nice and tender things and I start doing the same with him. Then I come to the fundamental question: "Where are you from?" And he tells me he's from Milan, my city! I jump for joy and ask him if we can meet, he replies enthusiastically that he too cannot wait to meet me. We fix the first appointment for the following Saturday night. I begin to fantasize, meanwhile we talk every night by chat and the wait grows day by day. I cannot wait to meet him! Saturday afternoon comes, I take a long shower, then I put on a pair of new underwear ... you never know, I shave well, I dress as he said he liked me and I go to the appointment. He was already there, we recognize each other, we embrace. I was radiant like the sun and he was really beautiful in person. His eyes were laughing. We start walking, we decide to go to have a pizza. We go to a pizzeria out of the way, we sit down at a table where we can talk. The speeches are exactly those made in chat, he tells me that I'm beautiful, I tell him that he is just my ideal guy, then we start talking about something else: politics, nutrition, and  we get along pretty much about everything, he thinks almost like me. I begin to believe that in the evening we will end up making love somewhere. The hours pass and nothing happens. Eventually I found the courage to ask him if he was disappointed after meeting me in person. He tells me: "Are you kidding? I think I'm in love with you!" I calm down and we say goodbye by giving us an appointment in chat for the next day, to see each other newly the following Saturday. I come home and I get a text message: "Puppy !! You're the best thing in my life !! "I answer him with an incredible enthusiasm. All my depressions and melancholies had gone away and I felt happy, not only I felt loved, but loved by a guy whom I also loved to madness. Throughout the week, between very tender text messages and chats I melt more and more and I prepare for our second meeting, I think that this second meeting should have ended with something sexual. We arrive on Saturday night. He appears with a small parcel, I look at him with a perplexed face. He tells me: "Open, it's for you! But only a half ... "I don’t know what to think. I open and inside there are two little wedding rings, he puts one on my finger and I put the other on his, then we kiss, but there are people and we have to get back down to earth. We go to the pizzeria. I was literally enthusiastic, I could not wait to get out of the pizzeria and be alone in the car with him, because, given those premises, I expected a little sex, but he tells me that he is too upset and that he don’t feels like it. He accompanies me to my house and we say goodbye. I was a bit puzzled. I ask him when we would meet again, he tells me that he will call me during the week. Well ... you understand how it ended, during the week he didn’t call at all, I call him, he is always very sweet with words but he tells me that next Saturday he cannot, but the speech no longer had the enthusiastic tones of the first times in the chat. I insist a lot to see him at least for a coffee during the week. We fix the appointment for Wednesday, I am there but he doesn’t come. I call him. He tells me he's at work. I call him in the evening but the phone is disconnected. I go to the chat and he's there ... I call him but he doesn’t even answer me, he's obviously busy. And there I made two plus two four and I said to myself: "He found another guy!" The next day I wait for him at his home, when he goes out to go to work, when he sees me he tries to change course, I block him, I ask him what happened, if there is another guy. He says no and that the fact is that he does not like me physically and that he cannot do anything about it. I ask him if he wants us to remain friends, he tells me it's better not. I take off my wedding ring and give it back to him, then I turn around and leave. I come home and start looking at myself in the mirror to try and figure out what's wrong with my appearance. I have a lot of physical defects, I'm not the handsome classic cover guy but I'm not even to throw away. I feel really emptied, I feel like crying, more for angry than for loneliness. I try to call one of my ex to talk a bit, I know that he loves me and he will listen to me, and it happens even this time, but I'm neurotic, impulsive, I treat him badly even if he doesn’t deserve it and I close the call abruptly. Fortunately, there is my job, a very disgusting job, but still a distraction that helps me not to think, but I always remember the scene of the wedding rings, but why that guy made me believe he was in love with me? Or maybe I'm so stupid that I think one can fall in love with me just for a picture and for a week of chat. But he didn’t have the slightest respect. And then ... the wedding ring, maybe it could be the same that he had given to his previous boyfriend. I felt disgusted, and I made a decision, I contacted a very serious gay association and I looked for a psychologist, I made an appointment and I went there and I felt good. An old man who has always looked after gays and who knows what it is. I think I did a good thing. Then I called my ex and we talked a little, I felt he was happy to talk to me. Then I said to myself: "I have to take my life back in my hands! Enough with the chats!" And that's what I'm doing now. Sometimes receiving a blow can do well too!
 
If you like, publish the email. I am attaching my skype, if you want to talk a bit.
 
Lucio (even if it is not my true name, everyone calls me so)
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